Just another side of me

Hey all peepers, how's your day? Today, I'm gonna post something personal. Bear with me?

I say, I am a very low profile person. Is not like I didn't socialize, I share my thought my feeling sometime my inner qoute on facebook. Haha, a place we show ourself among friends. But, I'm hiding some part of myself so tight that only some friends that i deal with everyday know it.

First, I already convert to Islam. Just my colleague friends and my family members know it. I didn't change my facebook profile pictures, I didn't post out loud said I already convert. I just being myself all the time. Part of me change, part of me didn't change at all. Maybe I'm afraid that my friend will tink that I had totally change into another person. But friends should just understand and stand by me with my decision. If they left me because of this, what a friend should be? Sadly I admit, I hide myself away from them. Friendship will fade if we left it unmend for too long. I hope my friends all live healthy and happily although we didn't keep in touch.

Second, I'm getting married soon. And yet, I didn't put anything any news on my facebook status or editing my relationship to "engaged". Haha, I'm still single but not available for what I make people think. Soon, how soon is soon? Okay, I will be married on 24/11/2012, exactly 1 month from now.

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Blank! That is all my mind tell me. One whole month left. Am i excited? I don't really know. I just like the canoe following the stream rushing downward to the end. Thing happen and time won't wait,that is all I know. I don't have time to get "Yeah! I'm married soon! Let's celebrate." With my working environment and surrounding here, I am too far away from home to feel the excitement of finding pretty thank you gift for the guests, looking for the flower for bridemaid or even myself. I want to hold of a bouquet of sunflower. Where am I going to get the sunflower? Does the florist around the town sell it and how much is the price? Sunflower, kinda rare flower for making it a wedding flower bouquet. But, I like it to be special as I'm to myself.

Thinking of all this make me stress and I'm hundred kilometres away from the place I'm going to be married. I am so far away to get all this things done and my future sister-in-law are going to done it all. My wedding with so little commitment from myself. One word for describing it, sad.

Everything will be arranged, I am just a little canoe in the river. Waiting to be push down at the waterfall. Soon, everything will be as peaceful as the slow flowing down stream. Life goes on, goes on..